More often than not, black women and girls are negatively targeted for their hair. So many of us grew up with the common understanding of needing to have “good hair”. If you haven’t seen one of the many articles featuring photographer Jermaine Horton, who drove hours away to photograph a young girl who was ousted from school photos due to red hair, give it a read. Our culture has been shaped about hair from a young age. From our mothers and great-grandmothers to now, the essence of a black woman’s hair has evolved into a beautiful persona. We asked women in the Tomayia Colvin Education community, a Facebook photography community that supports and celebrates Black and photographers of color, if they could give advice on hair to their younger selves, what they would say.

The letters are sure to leave you empowered.

Annette Matthews

“They won’t ever understand it, my black swan, most of these fools will have come and gone. But you? You will grow to be stronger with impetus, don’t let anyone ever repudiate your rooted ancestral existence.”

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Ashley Canay

“This is your crown. It has been passed down many generations. Be proud and bold, Baby Girl.”

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Audrey C. Sayles

“Fall in love with your hair because it makes you unique. You have the only hair in the world that can defy gravity. Nothing else on earth besides helium can do that.”

Brittany Richardson

“Regardless of any negative stereotype of black girls and black women, know that you are a Queen and you are beautiful! Your hair, your weight, your looks… none of that matters or defines your greatness because at the end of the day, you have SO MUCH to offer the world. One day you’ll learn to love yourself, flaws and all. When that day comes baby girl, you will then see first hand that you are magic!”

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Cat Williams

“Its okay that your hair isn’t as long and silky like your cousins. You really do have “good hair”, its thicker than most and you will be able to wear all kinds of hairstyles not just braids.”

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Celeste Jones

“I would tell her that she matters. That she is a beautiful brown girl. And that one day, when she gets older she’ll come to accept who she is and appreciate her journey.”

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Comfort Witcher

“It’s just hair. It’s your hair. You are beautiful whether it is straight or natural, short or long. There must be some amazing reason that God gave just US this texture!”

Dawn Downey

“Trying to fit in will only cause you pain and trouble. Even though it’s scary for us, standing out and being yourself will open up doors and opportunities that you can’t even imagine! Get to know yourself so that you can love yourself.”

Deanna Reid

“Baby Girl, choose you. One day you will no longer care about the views of the world around you because you understand your history and the bloodline of the women before you. You won’t shed a tear, be intimidated nor feel the need to conform to ideals you don’t believe in; instead, you will walk a path you choose, hair not unkept, undone, nor wild. YOU know there is no such thing; there is only what YOU choose to do with or to not do with your hair… which is a choice that is only yours and that doesn’t define the beauty that radiates from your spirit.
I love you. Be free.”

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Jaime Patterson

“Baby Girl, you will learn a lot at the feet of your mother and sister as they learn about hairs for all its complexity. You’ll see all the magnificent things black women can do with the hair on our heads, the pride in every way it’s displayed, and the sheer fun in switching styles . Embrace that, experiment and know that however hair may change, you are and will always be beautiful and no one can take that away.”

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Jehan Daugherty

“Your curls, your waves, the crown on your head is beautiful. Every inch of hair is your heritage. Your hair is your story, your journey, and your honor.”

JoVonda Winters

“Jo, embrace your beautiful, thick, coarse, curls. Your hair defines your strength, that you will soon find out that you have. Dare to be different…always!”

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Katrina Moffett

“It’s okay to be unapologetically you. Your hair’s beautiful, and you don’t have to change it to meet anyone else’s standards. Be Natural and Free!”

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LaJune King

“I’m sorry you had to hear at this age that your hair was nappy. I’m sorry that you will have to conform, for a few years, in Corporate America. Guess what, gorgeous? You will build your own business + have a daughter that will shape your entire life. You WILL wear your natural hair proudly and you damn sure won’t feel ashamed by it. I love you so much. Go be great, LaJune.”

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Latoya Dixon Smith

“Dear Latoya, the freedom you seek will be found by embracing yourself as you are. You, nor your hair, need to be tamed to be happy and content with who you’re meant to be in this world.”

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Lorina Neil

“You are stronger than you think. You can do anything you set your mind to. Mistakes and downfalls happen, a lot, but those don’t determine who you are. Love yourself first!”

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Mary A. Brown

“To my younger self I would say: Your hair is your crown. You can wear it any way you want—long, short, locked, straight or fro. That is the beauty of black hair.”

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Nisha Williams

“You should always walk with your head up. Don’t worry about the “nappy” comments you heard on the bus. There will be a natural hair movement/community where you will find sisters & friends for life.”

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Retesha Anusionwu

“You’re just as beautiful as your white counterparts! You don’t have to change! Be your authentic unapologetic self.”

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Sharde’ Chapman

“It’s just hair. You are no less valuable if you aren’t the ‘black girl with the long hair.’”

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Sharlie Brown

“Little Sharlie, like many little black girls, you dream of having hair down your back someday, despite not seeing anyone as deep chocolate as you wear their hair like that. What if I told you that someday you will have long hair down your back? Only it won’t be silky-straight like every doll you play with nor will it be chemically-straightened the way you’ve imagined your adult self wearing her hair. You will proudly wear your hair the texture God created it to grow out of your scalp and you will love yourself even more!”

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Shelia Glenn

“To my younger self, no matter what don’t ever change who you are based on your hair! You are beautiful enough.”

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Tina Strickland

“I would tell my younger self that her beauty extends beyond the physical, and to embrace every aspect of who you are. Your crown is meant to be seen, and nothing to be ashamed of. God doesn’t make mistakes.”

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Toni Black

“You are beautiful. It doesn’t matter if your hair is down your back or shaved, you are beautiful and you are worthy of all the desires of your heart. Your hair defies gravity and so do you. You do not have to straighten your hair to fit in, and you don’t have to actually fit in if you don’t want. If you spend your time worrying about what others think of you, you’ll forget to live up to the best of what you think of you. So love yourself for who you are and never let them make you believe that not being like them is a bad thing… you’ll be happier this way.”

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Tosha Gaines

“Don’t remove the kinks from your hair. Remove them from your brain.”

Trunetta Atwater

“Life isn’t about being discovered by someone else, it’s about discovering yourself.”

Tyrenda Pentecost

“The world is going to make you think that only certain hairstyles make you beautiful, don’t listen! Your hair is only an extension of who God made you. Wear it natural, straight, braided or bald but just know it is thick and rich like your hips and your lips!”

Tyson Pough

“Never be ashamed of what God has blessed you with. The shape of your nose, the size of your forehead, and the curl of your hair were carefully thought out by the Creator.”